The year-end holidays are coming, and I want you to think for a moment about your plans to celebrate. Rather than do your traditional celebrations, please consider alternative plans and reducing the burden to both honor and support your loved one. People who are dealing with chronic ailments or who are in pain shouldn’t be expected to go through the holidays as they once did. No matter how much you (or they) may want “the usual traditions”, you need to take into account reduced stamina and increase frailty.
Tips For Caregiving During The Holidays
Be sure you include your loved one in the planning process, this is very important. They may want to do everything as it’s always been done… So you’ll need to help your loved one understand that there needs to be new traditions started (in order to account for the place you all find yourselves in now). That’s not to say you can’t or shouldn’t celebrate! It’s just a way of remembering that whatever you do, you need to take your loved one’s state-of-health into account.
Here are a few examples of how to reduce stress on your loved one:
- Instead of a day-long cookie-baking extravaganza that will only exhaust mom, why not pre-bake the cookies? That way mom can join in the shortened party to decorate them. She’s still participating, but at a level she can handle.
- Instead of the big traditional holiday dinner, why not down-size to a series of short events with much lighter menus. A tea-and-cookies event, wine and appetizers, or even a bring your favorite soup party?
- Folks who are frail and those suffering from dementia can be overwhelmed by even a handful of familiar faces. It quickly becomes too much information to recall, too much energy to absorb, and your loved one may respond not with enjoyment, but with highly anxious behaviors. It’s a good reason to keep your gatherings very small, maybe only two or three people at a time.
- For the elderly, the process of selecting, buying and wrapping gifts may be too taxing. Instead of doing a gift exchange, what not use the time to pull out the family photo albums, videos or 8 mm movies? Other alternatives to spending time exchanging gifts would be to play board or card games that your loved one enjoys, or watch holiday-themed videos. Our family holds a comic movie film fest. Laughing together really makes for a great holiday mood.
You get the idea—think small and intimate. You can still do all the holiday decorating, just have mom supervise from her favorite chair. You can share and enjoy the music and food of the season. Just keep your loved one’s state of health in mind and then make appropriate plans.