It’s a simple question. Are you afraid of dying? In her beautifully written essay over at When The Table Turns, Judy Fox posed the question to her mother, for whom she is a full-time caregiver. In a moment of clarity, Judy’s mother answered no, that she wasn’t afraid, and actually “she was looking forward to it”. When Judy asked her why, she explained that she “would be at peace”.
Death and dying is such a tough topic for many folks, myself included. The realization that we have a finite time-limit in this existence is difficult to get your arms around. How much more time will I have with my parents? How much time will I have with my children? How much time will I have with my husband? These are all fundamentally difficult questions to consider. No one wants to run out of time, so clearly the key is to make your time count.
In a previous post we took a look at just how much quality time we have in our lives (away from work, commutes, sleeping, and more). The reality is that the hourglass has been tipped for each of us. What we do, how we do it, and who we do it with defines us whether we like it or not. Being able to “be in the moment” matters, and so is consciously loving AND being loved. Judy Fox captures these thoughts so eloquently in her essay entitled “Catching The Fleeting Moment“. Here are a few excerpts:
A few days after writing this I was talking to a friend who had recently visited a relative in hospice. This relative didn’t seem to realize she was dying and consequently it wasn’t discussed. I realized how lucky I was that my mom has so openly accepted her dying and how much that has affected our whole being together. There are no hidden corners…we can talk about dying and death; we can say how much we love each other with the awareness that we have limited time together on this earthly plane. This is very much a result of my mother’s openness. She has made this possible.
So I am like this fisherwoman catching these fleeting moments in time and giving them space, giving them room to expand and grow. I open a door and then all sorts of reflections and conversations get aired and ignited.
And like a fisherwoman, I want to share my “catch” with others whose lives are probably very different from mine – circumstances different – and yet I know that what touches me will touch others; not in the details necessarily, but in the mystery of life; in all these tender moments that contain such jewels.
Judy often stops by and visits The Senior List on Facebook, so you can catch her on FB, or at her website. We’re so very appreciative that Judy shares such an important narrative with us. The fact that she does it with such style and grace is icing on the cake.