The New Rules of “Grand-Sharenting”: How to Protect Grandkids Online in the Age of AI
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November 6, 2026
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A grandchild's birthday party or first day of school is a moment you want to share. But the question behind every post has changed. It used to be who might see the photo. Now it's what a stranger, or an algorithm, could do with it.
The Internet Watch Foundation found 6,310 illegal AI-generated child abuse images in the first half of 2026 alone, more than in all of 2025. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children logged more than 50,000 sextortion reports last year, and an estimated 1 in 50 children are impacted by identity fraud each year. That doesn't mean your social media posts will be misused, but once a grandchild's face is online, no one controls where it ends up.
We surveyed 1,009 parents and 568 grandparents about sharing children's lives online, sometimes called “grandsharenting.” Both generations share the same worries, yet few families have talked through how to work together to keep kids safe online.
Everyone wants to celebrate the children and keep the memories. AI is giving them new reasons to think about what they share and who can see it.
Key Findings
- Most parents have social media posting rules, but far fewer share those rules with grandparents. Three in four parents have rules or guidelines for their own posts about their children. Only 28% of grandparents say parents have discussed any posting rules with them.
- Grandparents’ most common rule from their adult children is to ask before posting photos or videos of the grandkids. Among grandparents who’ve talked about social media rules with their adult children, 32% said this was the rule.
- Some parents are holding photos back from grandparents. 17% of parents have withheld a photo from a grandparent because they worried it would be posted online, but just 8% have argued with a grandparent over posts.
- Predators worry both generations. 60% of parents and 60% of grandparents are very or extremely concerned about predators learning children's whereabouts or routines.
- AI image misuse is also very concerning to parents and grandparents today. 60% of parents and 57% of grandparents are very or extremely concerned about photos being turned into sexual or explicit images.
How Many Families Have Rules for Sharing on Social Media?
Our study found that 75 percent of parents of children under 18 have explicit rules or general guidelines for what they share about their kids online. According to Irina Raicu, the director of internet ethics at Santa Clara University, parents have good reason to approach social media sharing today with caution and care. “We are living in the age of facial recognition and deepfakes: AI tools available to anyone can now be used to identify people, including children, and one photograph is enough to create fake images and even videos that would seem real to most people,” she explained.
While many parents have guidelines, fewer have shared them with their kids’ grandparents. Only 48 percent of parents whose children have a living grandparent say they have discussed rules with at least one grandparent. Interestingly, only 28 percent of grandparents reported having conversations with their adult kids about social media sharing expectations.
Matt Grammer, a licensed professional clinical counselor-supervisor, says some parents may avoid the conversation with grandparents for fear of hurting their feelings. “Many parents are struggling with the anxiety of communicating their social media boundaries with grandparents, as they believe grandparents may take it the wrong way and be hurt or upset,” Grammer explained.
Our open-ended survey responses also helped clarify why many parents haven't communicated formal rules about how they’d like family members to post (or not post) about their children online. Some parents said that their kids’ grandparents rarely post or don’t even use social media. Others described an unspoken understanding that grandparents ask permission or wait for the parents to share photos or news first. Among the 157 grandparents who said parents had discussed social media sharing rules with them, these were the most common conditions:
| What are the conditions of your family's social media rules for grandparents? | Percent of grandparents with family social media rules |
|---|---|
| I must get permission for image/video posts that include my grandchildren's faces | 32% |
| I must get permission for all image/video posts about my grandchildren | 27% |
| I must not mention other locations my grandchildren regularly go in my posts | 27% |
| Image/video posts that include my grandchildren's faces are never allowed | 23% |
| I must not mention my grandchildren's schools in my posts | 21% |
| Image/video posts of my grandchildren are never allowed at all | 18% |
| I must get permission for every single post about my grandchildren | 15% |
| I must not mention my grandchildren's names in my posts | 15% |
| No posts about my grandchildren are ever allowed at all | 13% |
| I must not mention my grandchildren's ages in my posts | 10% |
| None of the above | 11% |
Source: TheSeniorList.com survey of 1,577 U.S. parents and grandparents, 2026. Multiple selections allowed.
Obtaining permission to share photos showing a child's face was the most common guideline among grandparents in our study. Other families asked grandparents to cover school names and the places children regularly visit. Even when a caption leaves those details out, a uniform, a street sign, or a building in the background can give them away.
Among parents who had discussed rules with grandparents, 55% described their rules as at least somewhat strict. Among grandparents, 61% said the rules their own kids imposed were strict. Rules can feel restrictive even when both generations want the same thing: a safe child.
Most Families Avoid Conflict, but Posting Boundaries Can Be Unclear
Most families seem to be on the same page about how to post about their children safely on social media. Among parents who had talked through social media posting rules with their children’s grandparents, only 30% said their parents had violated the rules. Meanwhile, 10% of grandparents said the same about themselves. That gap is worth a closer look.
What happens when grandparents don’t heed their children’s requests about posting the grandkids online? For starters, parents might ask them to delete posts. We found that 14% of parents whose children have a living grandparent had asked one of them to delete a social media post. More serious conflict was less common:
| Parents: Have you ever done any of the following? | Percent of parents whose children have a living grandparent |
|---|---|
| Asked a grandparent to delete a social media post about your children | 14% |
| Chosen not to send a photo to a grandparent because they might post it online | 17% |
| Limited a grandparent's access to your children following a privacy dispute | 8% |
| Had an argument with a grandparent regarding social media posts about your children | 8% |
| Blocked a grandparent from viewing your children's social media posts | 3% |
| None of the above | 69% |
Source: TheSeniorList.com survey of 1,577 U.S. parents and grandparents, 2026. Multiple selections allowed.
Overt or intentional boundary-crossing seems rare. In our study, many families described cooperation. In open-ended questions, several parents praised their kids’ grandparents for respecting their limits. At the same time, grandparents talked about asking their children’s permission before sharing on social media, and even asking for older grandchildren’s consent before sharing about them online.
One parent described how their family approaches social media: “We welcome our parents (their grandparents and great-grandparents) to TAKE as many photos as they like but ask them not to post anything on social media.” Other respondents suggested family group texts via smartphone or photos sent straight to a digital picture frame as ways to stay connected without posting publicly.
Some conflicts, interestingly, aren’t solely about safety, but courtesy. Nine percent of parents said a grandparent announced their new baby's birth before they or their partner could:
Have your children's grandparents announced any of the following before you or your partner could announce it yourselves?
| Type of announcement | Percent of parents whose children have a living grandparent |
|---|---|
| The birth of a new baby | 9% |
| A pregnancy | 4% |
| A change in career | 2% |
| An engagement | 2% |
| None of the above | 76% |
Source: TheSeniorList.com survey of 1,577 U.S. parents and grandparents, 2026. Multiple selections allowed.
Here’s a golden rule for grandparents: let your kids share their own family news first. If they haven't announced something yet, ask before you make your own post.
Parents and Grandparents Share Many of the Same Safety Concerns
Parents and grandparents of young children were fairly aligned on the online safety risks that concerned them most. Sixty percent of each group were very or extremely concerned about predators learning a child's location, school, address, or routine, and concern about AI-generated explicit images ran almost as high.
What online risks concern parents and grandparents most today?
Percentage of parents and grandparents who selected “very” or “extremely” concerned
| Online risks for children | Parents | Grandparents |
|---|---|---|
| Predators learning children's location, school, address, or routine | 60% | 60% |
| Photos/videos used to create AI-generated sexual or explicit images | 60% | 57% |
| Photos/videos saved, copied, or reposted by strangers | 56% | 54% |
| Photos/videos altered into deepfakes, fake profiles, or impersonations | 55% | 52% |
| Social platforms using photos or information for AI training or targeted ads | 55% | 49% |
| Personal details used for identity theft or fraud | 53% | 51% |
| Creating a permanent digital footprint before children can consent | 50% | 46% |
| Online posts embarrassing children or harming their future reputation | 48% | 45% |
| Children being bullied, teased, or harassed over online posts | 48% | 43% |
Source: TheSeniorList.com survey of 1,577 U.S. parents and grandparents, 2026
The biggest gap in our table was over platforms using children's photos or information for AI training or targeted ads: 55% of parents were highly concerned, compared with 49% of grandparents. The FTC's 2025 update to its children's privacy rule requires separate parental consent for certain third-party disclosures, including targeted advertising, by covered online services that collect children's data. But it doesn't guarantee family uploads are protected from every use.
Generally, concern ran higher among mothers and grandmothers, who were significantly more likely than fathers and grandfathers to be “extremely concerned” about all nine risks, and among younger parents. For example, 57% of parents ages 18–29 were extremely concerned about AI-generated explicit imagery, compared with 40% of those ages 30–44 and 37% of those ages 45–59.
While parents and grandparents were most likely to express concern about predators and AI-generated explicit images, more than half also expressed high levels of concern about child identity theft. “The reality is that identity thieves play a long game, and family social posts give them free pieces to the puzzle, which can be scraped for locations, full names, birth dates, and daily routines,” explained Tom Clayton, COO and President at Aura, a digital safety company. “Scammers use these small breadcrumbs to map out a child's identity. Because kids don't check their credit reports or apply for loans, a stolen identity can go completely undetected for a decade. It’s the metadata, captions, and context around the photo that scammers are really trading on,” Clayton added.
How to Share Family Moments While Protecting Your Grandkids
Research shows grandparents post about their grandkids out of pride, to preserve memories and keep loved ones informed. Direct conversations and mutual agreements with the children’s parents honor those instincts while limiting exposure to real online risks. Here are a few tips from family therapists, mental health professionals, and tech experts about how families can collaborate cross-generationally to keep kids safe online:
- Ask permission before posting: If your kids haven't given direct guidelines, it can be helpful to ask before sharing their kids on social media. “Some parents might not be comfortable with any photos being posted, however, so it really is important to ask for permission before posting, even if a child's face is covered with an emoji. Every parent has their own rules about what pictures they want posted of their child on social media (if any at all), and they should always get the final say,” said Dr. Alexandra Foglia, a doctor of marriage and family therapy (DMFT). “Avoid including full names, friends’ names, or details like a school name that could reveal where they can be found.”
- Double-check photos before posting: “Protecting a child's identity doesn't mean you can never share a proud moment. Beyond keeping accounts private, take five seconds to scan every photo before posting for details like school logos, sports team names, street signs, or routines,” said Tom Clayton of Aura.
- Remember your shared goal of keeping grandkids safe online. When your kids set boundaries with you about sharing the grandkids online, it can feel like they are questioning your love or your judgment, according to Shebna Osanmoh, a board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner. Remembering the common goal can help. “Both you and your children want the very best for your grandchildren, and that includes their privacy and safety. You have to focus on this point,” Osanmoh added.
- Creating clear guidelines can strengthen trust: “Parents and grandparents should have an agreement that specifies whether permission is needed for each post and how long any approval lasts, but parents should generally get the final say,” said Stephanie Lewis, a licensed clinical social worker. “Once boundaries are in place and respected, most of the time, the relationship may benefit from fewer misunderstandings and greater trust.”
Pair any agreement with good habits. The FBI's safety guidance recommends strong privacy settings and account security. If a parent or child asks you to remove a post, do it quickly, and report any exploitation or threats to the platform and law enforcement.
A good place to start: ask which memories your family is comfortable sharing, with whom, and under what conditions. You can celebrate your grandchildren and still give them a say in their online lives.
Our Data
We conducted two online surveys to examine how American parents and grandparents share information about children on social media, including family rules, disagreements, and consequences of crossing boundaries.
The parent survey included 1,009 U.S. adults with at least one living child and was conducted September 9–10, 2026. The grandparent survey included 568 U.S. adults with at least one living grandchild and was conducted September 10–11, 2026. All participants were at least 18 years old, and each sample included a balanced number of men and women.
We recruited respondents through an online research platform. We analyzed only completed surveys that met eligibility requirements. Responses were not weighted.
The surveys used independent samples, meaning respondents were not matched parents and grandparents from the same families. Results therefore reflect differences between the two groups, not disagreements within individual families.
The estimated margins of error are ±3.1 percentage points for parents and ±4.1 percentage points for grandparents, calculated at a 95% confidence level using a 50% population proportion. These are conventional statistical benchmarks based on random-sampling assumptions, not guarantees of accuracy for online samples. Smaller subgroups have greater uncertainty, and results may be affected by participation bias, recall, question interpretation, and self-reporting.